If I could name a singular food that could bond an entire generation on how massively hated it is, but then conjure memories that have somehow strengthened relationships with friends and families, it would be a bitter melon. (example: The story of when Minh forced Peter to eat that orange bitter melon). For these reasons, I have a weird love hate, but mostly hate relationship with this melon. The conversation of its health benefits in the family’s Whatsapp group chat never seemed to die down. They would say ”it cures diabetes,” and “makes your blood bitter so no mosquitoes want your blood,” as a way to justify its terrible bitter taste. The combination of bittermelon (Pare), tempeh, and other spices was the Gunawan Family’s signature dish called Oseng Oseng Pare.   I believe because bittermelon was an affordable crop and the dish oseng oseng pare was pretty simple to make, there would be weeks where we would eat it everyday. Tempeh is a family staple food, as we make our own tempeh from scratch. For this reason, tempeh is basically a family essential food, and we eat it more often than we probably should.  

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From my perspective, this was a dish that was not always my favorite growing up. However, it is very interesting how an essentially “struggle -food” has become something that bonded our family economically and culturally. Making tempeh is now something my dad does as a hobby but also as another source of income. Together with bittermelon, it is a super dish that holds so much of our family’s power. The earliest memory I can recall with bittermelon was when my parents would have these weeks where we would eat bitter melon, oseng oseng pare, every day.  I believe I was an unproblematic child, so I never let them know that I actually despised it and would wait to spit it out in a tissue. That’s probably the reason why they kept on making it.  When my Dad realized I actually hated it, he would let me put it on his plate when my mom wasn’t looking. In the indonesian community, being able to make tempeh was what I believed my family did to build mutual aid in the Indonesian community. It allowed them to assert themselves into the Indonesian community and build their own resilience.